Will Leggings Ever Be Pants?

Here is what I hope to be some helpful guidelines on when leggings do and do not count as pants, in free verse poetic form.

Times When Leggings Are Not Pants:

  • Leggings are NOT pants when worn with a shirt, no matter it’s length.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are short, tall, thin, chubby, or anything in-between.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if your skirt is too short.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if it’s 10 degrees outside or 100.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are at church, nor school, nor Wal-Mart, nor the gym.
  • Leggings do NOT count as pants if you are a cheerleader or a runner, lazy or ambitious.
  • Leggings are NOT pants even if they have a denim facade.
  • Leggings are NOT pants just because they have designs on them.
  • Leggings are NOT pants despite anything the “popular” or “in” crowd might say or do.
  • Leggings are NOT EVEN pants if you’re related to me.
  • Leggings are NOT pants while you’re studying at the library.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are doing yard work in your front yard.
  • Leggings are NOT PANTS if you are over 50.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are over 15.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are old enough to dress yourself.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are ice skating and think you look cool. You most likely do not.
  • Leggings are NOT pants if you are at the mall. Although it may be useful to wear them under whatever else you’re wearing for the sake of trying on skirts/dresses/etc.
  • Leggings are especially NOT pants if you are male. NOT EVEN if you are a pro sports player.
  • Leggings are NOT pants even if they are advertised as such. Retailers just want your money, they don’t care about your brains or morals.

Times When Leggings Are Pants:

So far, I do not know of any situations where leggings count as pants and could be appropriate legwear without being covered by a modest skirt or shorts.

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